Wowzers
2006-03-17 - 8:03 p.m.
I am still amongst the living. I hate that all of my entries begin with that nowadays. I've just been so busy all I do is sleep and school. And sometimes eat and pee. I am on anti-anxiety meds again. I don't care. They help. I am a WEE bit calmer and can function and can breathe and the daily doses of freaking out have diminished. And, if nothing else good comes of this insane grad school journey, I will always be totally thankful for what I experienced today: births of babies. I got to see a C-section and a vaginal birth. I got to see two epidurals - consequently, I will probably try my best to avoid that scenario in the midst of the potential birth of my own child. Also, if I can help it, I will avoid the c-section route as well. The things I've seen them do to human bodies in the past few months - well, let's just say that, sometimes, you can't be so gentle. If you gotta rip and tear and stretch the skin to make the hole big enough for the baby, well then.. you just do it. And it ain't no big thang.
I got to see new babies all over the place today and listen to their little hearts with baby stethoscopes and hear their little lungs with their little wheezes and gurgles and sleepiness and it was just amazing. And I am so amazed now at any woman who has ever given birth. I mean, geesh. Whooda thought our bodies could do that stuff?!!
