Cicadas... 2nd entry
2004-05-22 - 11:06 p.m.
So, I went on a walk tonight and dealt with the cicadas. Besides the one that landed on my left boob, I did not get attacked or see any cars with dents or people running and screaming from them. In fact, I feel pretty sorry for them. For one, those em-effers are lazy. They're only here to get laid and to make sure that, in 17 years, there are more to go around, right? Well, they sure don't try very hard at it... they don't start their mating call until about 1 p.m. and they stop right around the time it gets dark. So, out of 24 hours, they only spend about 8 trying to reproduce. Lazy asses. Also, on my walk, I saw so many males just lying dead on the sidewalks - obviously, they did it and now, their lives are over. I feel sorry for them. They probably have no idea... maybe they do though? I mean, before they come out, do they get briefed on what's going to happen? Like, is there a leader guy and he says, "Okay... what you're going to do is crawl out of the ground, find a tree, crawl out of your shell, sit around until you turn black and mature and then, go get laid. After that, it's either death or on your way to lay some eggs on a tree branch and THEN death." How do they know what to do? I swear, if I were in college right and now and some nerdy terdy biology major person, I would so be doing a freaking 794 page research paper on these guys. They're so interesting. And that mating call... it's actually pretty calming and I love the way it increases in strength and then, it dissolves for just a second and then, they're back at it again, stronger than ever, just trying to get some. But, they do it in unison, so how do the females know who to go to? I mean, I would think there are some females out there who are just like, "Christ... why can't I just find someone who doesn't go with the flow. All these damn assholes are singing at the exact same time! Why can't I find someone who can think for themselves?!@?!". After my walk, there was a male lying by my front door... I picked him up to check him out. Turns out, he only had one wing. Poor buddy. He'll never get any that way. So, I popped him in the tree by my door in hopes that some desperate chick will come by and screw him to death even though he's wingless.
