february
2008-02-20 - 12:36 p.m.
It snowed. It's February and I am doing okey in the dokey. In six days, it will be the year anniversary of my dad's "Oh My God, You're Going To Die" surgery. It doesn't hurt as much as I thought it would 3, even 2 months ago. I went through a mega-depression in January - for a good week or so. It didn't help that I had the flu and I'm not sure if it wasn't the flu that triggered the depression. Plus the fact that I was working nights. Well, I still AM working nights (until the end of March), but I'm much better at getting myself on a "real person's schedule" on my days off. This equals me seeing sunshine, people and uh, just not a bunch of darkness - as a result, my mind is happier. Plus, it helps that I'm making real person money and I even got a real person tax refund this year that made it possible for me to: renew my vehicle tags, renew my checks, pay my car insurance in FULL, put some money towards my two credit cards, pay for my membership renewal for the nursing honor's society, attend a nursing nerd conference, pay for membership into the society for nurses who work with bald kids and even buy a few new outfits. And, I have some left over that went into savings and will probably go to my financial advisor. Yes, I have one of those. I figure it's time. I've done enough screwing with my monies in the past and, now that I'm trying to pretend like I'm a real adult, I figure it's time I get a handle on my monies.
I'm trying to figure out when to make my solo trip to Boston/Cape Cod - early June or mid-August? June just because I'm psyched to go and it will be a good time to just take off and August because they're having the three-day breast cancer walk there - can I do it? Walk 20 miles each day for three days straight? Hmmm... if I start training now. To me, it's weird to train to walk. But, then I think of the mileage I'll be doing and I know I won't be able to do it unless I do train.
In less than two weeks, I'll be 33. Yikes. 33 year olds are supposed to be adults, aren't they? I guess I am one. I mean, I do the things that adults do, but sometimes I just feel like a floater. Maybe that's what I gotta do to derail the reality of it all though - just float. I guess that's okay, right?
So, I'm back at the muffin house tonight - two of my muffins aren't doing so great - cancer wise they're fine, it's just they've got infections galore sprouting up about their little bodies. So, hopefully, I'll get to take care of them tonight - the only thing that sucks about taking care of infection muffins is the fact that you gotta dress in yellow isolation garb each time you go in their room. Yellow nurses rock though. And infectious muffins rock even more - because they're so resilient and you know they'll beat their infections and they don't even cry so much because they can't even step foot out of their room. Somehow, they have wonderful adventures in their rooms - I love their brains.
I gotta nap sometime today, or I'm going to have to get high off of coffee later tonight.
