a garbly-goo update. nothing has order in my life anymore...
2007-03-05 - 8:14 a.m.
Yesterday was my birthday. i went to visit my dad and he was in great spirits and had a TON of visitors - there was barely any time when it was just the four of us.
He told his friends things like, "maybe it's time for me to go.", "it doesn't really look too good.", and "i'm just gonna do the best i can and have fun."
they're giving him four weeks now. with no chemo. maybe two months with it. my dad says he may not even want chemo. i support him on this. who wants to be that sick when they can just be kinda sick and die "normally"?
So, I still cry all the time. And sometimes, I don't. I still do stupid things like forget to push on the clutch to shift gears, or forget to shampoo my hair, but i condition it. Details don't matter right now to me - like i can walk by a piece of paper that has writing on it, and normally, i'd probably read it while walking by. now, i just walk. everything seems fuzzy, kinda. i can't explain it. and i know i'm not doing a very good job right now. my professors are still being awesome. i am going out to dinner with some of my classmates tonight, which is good because today is "hospice day". we're meeting with hospice at 1000. which means i should get my ass in the shower.
