This life. Is crazy. And makes me want to cry.
2005-03-20 - 9:19 a.m.
Let's see. I'm still drinking. I don't feel guilty about it. I know I will stop one day. Just not today. I don't know why I thought I could. I didn't completely believe some stuff you're supposed to believe to be able to mentally do it all.
I finished the quarter. This was the most horrific quarter ever. I scraped by with one B and one C. I am happy with that.
Last night, my family and I were supposed to take my grandma out to dinner for her birthday - SHE cancelled. So, we went out since we had reservations. It was a good time and my mom asked me and my brother questions like, "When are you going to have a kid?", "When are you going to get married?", "Where do you see yourself in ten years?". Oh Christ. Then, after we returned to my parents' house, I learned two things:
1) If things don't improve between my parents within a month or two, they're splitsville. Nice.
2) My mother is hiding a brand new desk in my old room. On Tuesday, a desktop computer is coming to be put on that new desk. She already has a laptop she barely uses and my father always fumes about how she never uses it and how she always wastes money. Along with my mother's desktop computer, my brother will be getting a laptop, in addition to the desktop he already has. My brother is taking the day off work on Tuesday just so he can be there to gather the packages and HIDE THEM. Oh yes. You see, my father has no idea any of this is going down. AND, to top it all off, my mother is sick enough in the head to believe he won't EVER find out about it. Hello??! I can see him not finding out about Vomit's laptop, but not her desktop. And, I don't like the idea that she's got my brother stuck in the middle of all of it, leaving him also having to lie to my father. And now, I know about it all! I feel so bad for my dad. I would never tell him. But, I think I'm going to tell my mother just how weird and awful it is that she's doing this. No wonder they're on the verge of divorce. She can't even disclose to him that she's purchasing $2000 worth of computer equipment because she's frightened he'll go off the deep end. Well, sure as shit he'll go off the deep end - especially when neither my mother nor my brother NEED new computers. But, he'll really go off the deep end when he figures out they BOTH lied to him. In addition to spending ungodly amounts of money for unnecessary things.
