Get your ow
n diary at DiaryLand.com! contact me older entries newest entry

Update

2010-01-15 - 9:31 p.m.

Update on muffins: Dennis is out of the ICU and back on our floor. I haven't had him since he's been back, but from what I understand, he's not the same. He sad. I think he knows the end is coming, no matter what. It may not be soon, but it'll get here. He also says he sometimes sees Jesus in his room. Not the first time I've heard a kid say that... And, he's also pretty busy med-wise and product (platelets, blood, granulocytes) wise so, he gets one nurse all to himself. Which is good b/c if someone had Dennis and another muffin, the other muffin would get neglected. And medical neglect ain't no fun - for anyone.
There is also this amazing muffin named Jenna. Jenna is 27 and has T-Cell ALL. She was first diagnosed in April. She was in remission all summer long. She relapsed in October got herself back into remission just before Christmas. So, she was home for Christmas and had a great time and was happy and just loving life again. January 7th she found out it's back. This is not good. Ultimately, she wanted to stay in remission and get a bone marrow transplant. The fact that we can't keep her in remission spoils that right there. So, now she's inpatient again... I had her on Wednesday and also yesterday (kind of - I was supposed to be a superuser for our new computer program and I was supposed to be available to people who needed help all day... instead, I helped Jenna's nurse take care of her. All day long. It just never ended. The nurse BARELY got to see her other patient b/c we were in Jenna's room all day. Literally. We ate lunch at 3. That sucks when your day starts at 7). Anyway, back to Jenna.... she's a mess. In horrible pain b/c the leukemia is just growing, growing, growing and blocking any sort of production of normal cells. We got her hooked up to a morphine pump yesterday, but I'm not sure how long that's gonna hold her. In about four hours, she went through 60 mg of morphine. :( So, the main issue yesterday was getting/keeping her out of pain. We also had to give her platelets and organize everything so she could have a PICC placed right there in her room. Also, with the bone pain, she now can't walk so, we had to put a foley in... what's sad about this is on Wednesday, Jenna was asking me what would happen if she could no longer walk to the bathroom. We talked about it, but then, I was like, "But we're not even there yet - you're doing fine right now!" And when we were talking about it, she was crying, mostly because of the potential embarrassment - we talked about that and how, as with anyone, we're gonna do are damn best to preserve her dignity. And I also told her that, in the end, we didn't care... about anything we saw or anything that happened in terms of her stooling herself or peeing all over herself. I tried to explain that our main goal would be to keep her clean and dry (so there's no risk for bedsores or infection) and that we're good at going about that with all things covered that "need" to be covered that keep her comfortable. Also, on Tuesday, when she first came in, they told her they're gonna try a new chemo, but that it could also kill her. So, she was like, "Hmmm... so, you're telling me I'm either gonna die from the chemo, or I'm gonna die from my disease." So, when I left on Thursday, she was still trying to decide if she even wanted to try the chemo (all this while in a drug-induced state of delirium). So, I'm not sure what happened. She is an amazing woman - so very open and neat and just into so many things and kind and just wonderful. She knits all the time and drinks tea and I remember the first time I took care of her last spring, she had a bunch of her friends in her room and they were sitting around, talking about inappropriate things. I was barely listening - b/c I was working on getting her meds hung correctly - but, I remember her giggling and saying to me, "Sorry... we take the "Children's" out of Children's Hospital". I thought that was funny. She's great and so is her family. She has two amazing sisters - they're all like a year apart in age, and Jenna is the middle sis. Such a cute family.

So, in other news: I'm still at about 13 pounds lost. But hey, I'm okay with that. 13 pounds is better than nothing. I've been kinda stuck at this weight though for a while. After looking at my food journal this week, my dietician determined that it's because I'm not eating ENOUGH and, when I do it, I'm not getting enough protein. So, my goal for the next few weeks (until my first fill - on Feb. 2nd!) is to eat more often if I can (it's tough to do at work - and no one understands this. they're like, "you can't get away for five minutes?" uh... NO), and to increase my protein. I've never been a big fan of meat... but, I can do turkey slices (I have some now and they're YUMMY), chicken, tuna, eggs, and veggie burgers. So, my focus has switched a little. I've also started working out again (just some Wii Fit for 30 minutes, 2-3 times a week). I know it's not a lot, but I'm also one to set my goals really high (I wanted to start out with Wii Fit for an hour, 4 times a week) and then, when I don't reach them, I quit. So, if my goal is 2-3 times a week, and I meet that, I won't quit! And I'll keep going and progress in my workouts like "normal" people do.

And, that's all in the wonderful world of me!

before - after

about me - read my profile! read other Diar
yLand diaries! recommend my diary to a friend! Get
 your own fun + free diary at DiaryLand.com!