One week left!
2009-12-08 - 1:28 a.m.
In exactly one week I'll be NPO (no food) for my surgery - YAY! And, I probably won't be sleeping, much like I am now... getting WAY nervous and excited. And, it doesn't help that I saw my co-worker today who had the same surgery done this morning. She didn't look too comfortable, so I'm extremely glad I am choosing to stay overnight for observation... she's doing the same and it seems like a good plan. Some extra help (with moving and with pain meds) never hurts.
Now onto some work issues. Critter is dying. Yes, we have an 11 year old boy who we call Critter. He gave himself that name. He had a bone marrow transplant and then, relapsed. After his relapse, he had some major weird chemo (not that it's not all weird and scary) and well, that didn't work so well. Now, he's got lung issues - fungal infection in there - and has had most of his right lung removed. A chest tube sticks out of him and he so at risk for so many things, including just dying. And then, there's Dennis. Cutesy pootsy Dennis - he's 19, but is developmentally delayed. He's like an 8 year old most times - requesting picture pages of Donald Duck, etc. to color. However, it's interesting to watch when his hormones get the best of him - at that point in time, he switches it up to color pages of Ariel. SO funny. I digress. His blast percentage? 98. Yeah - 98. Not good. He had a BMT, too. Both of these kids are so well known on our unit - they've both been around for a good two years and EVERYONE has taken care of each of them at least once. Critter used to stay up until 4 or 5 in the morning and he'd just chill at the nurses station with us when he'd do that. So, we ALL know him. And Dennis is just so sweet you can't help but love him. But they're both gonna die. I hate to say it, but it's true. I just hope they make it past Christmas. I don't know why. Why that is such a good marker for us... "one last Christmas". Does it really matter if the kid is miserable and in the worst pain of his/her life?
Other work issues right now also include the fact that many of us feel beat down by Mr. Cancer. I mean, WHAT AN ASSHOLE! In two weeks time, he took 7 of our kids. And is now threatening Dennis and Critter, plus a few others. I am not one to utter phrases such as "Fuck you!", or "I hate you!", but damn... I have have been majorly in the mood to do so lately with that Cancer bitch (yes, I just switched IT's gender). So, yeah. Fuck cancer. Just fuck it. Really. What's amazing about all of us oncology nurses and our jobs is that we HONESTLY cannot wait until the day that some big research nerd storms onto our unit and says, "Go home. You're no longer needed as an onc nurse. I have this little pill here and I'm gonna give it to all 24 patients on your unit. It is the cure for cancer. Find a new job." We really can't wait for that day. I will just collapse and cry when it happens... and, if that shit doesn't happen in my lifetime... well, I don't want to think about it.
