Starting to sink in...
2007-06-10 - 1:51 a.m.
I burnt my head a few weeks ago when I was outside, working in the yard, all day. I had braided my hair - two braids, actually - and, with that, comes a nice little part down the center of my head. That's the part that got burnt. I kinda like it when that happens because then, as the burns start to heal, I pick at them until they bleed and then, I've got a little row of scabs on my head. Gross, I know. But, I become obsessed with them - barely letting them heal before I rip them off again. It's neat. But, finally, I think the masochist in me is dead - they're fully healed now and my head looks normal. Shit.
In other news, all my mom does is cry. I come home a few times a week because I think I can handle it, and then, I realize that I cannot. I have yet to truly deal with my dad's death and I keep thinking that if I continue trying to take care of my mom (which I promised my dad I would do), I will somehow heal also. And get over it. I keep thinking that, as time stretches, the hole in my heart will grow smaller. It does not. But, I am working on it. Next Friday, I go see a shrink - well, not a shrink for real, but it was fun to say that. But, I do go to see a counselor at the ho$pice where my dad died - we get free counseling for 13 months. So, I'm going. To learn how to deal with MY stuff. And to learn how to deal with dealing with my mom.
I am also studying for the nur$ing boards. I am terrified. What if I freakin' fail??? The good news is that one of my classmates took her boards on thursday and passed! It's happening - they're letting us screwballheads become nurses. I'd find it rather frightening to be a faculty member in any nursing department, really - especially at my school, with our little group. Those profs got to see an awful lot of us over the past two years, and I find it amazing that, after all they learned about us, they still gave us their blessing to join them in the field of nursing. It's funny, actually... and it makes me think how much more hilarious it must be when people become doct0rs. I think what's most hilarious about it all is just knowing me and my classmates - what we all know about each other, the stuff we've done together outside of class... THAT is the kind of stuff where it's just like, "Really?! They're going to let US be nur$es? Christ... the world has gone completely mad!"
That's all folks. Bloody scalps, broken hearts and freaky nur$es. What more could you ask for?
