Get your ow
n diary at DiaryLand.com! contact me older entries newest entry

up-to-date

2007-04-26 - 10:15 a.m.

We had a scare on monday night. my dad started shaking uncontrollably and then, went unresponsive. they rushed him to the ER, where they ruled out all other causes, and determined he prolly has an infection in his blood. those results came back yesterday and, it is true. so, he we back to ho$pice later in the day on tuesday. to die. they're not going to do any more for him in regards to trying to treat his cancer. they are giving him fluids to keep his blood pressure up, feeding him intravenously, and actually treating the infection. but, his body is fighting way too much now and, i think it's time. i think he knows it, too. he has become withdrawn, but i am okay with that. i have no idea how i would be should i know i was dying. the other night, we just sat and watched teevee for a couple of hours, without saying too much. and i was and am at peace with that. i think he gets annoyed with the fact that we are ALWAYS there, but i also think he likes it and is okay with it. i would want to be surrounded with family. today, i am going to go up there and see if he wants me to wash his hair. i hope he lets me - i want to be gentle with him and massage his head and just make his hair feel less yucky. if not, that's okay too. i've got some books and am prepared to sleep - those chair things that flip out into a miniature bed are lifesavers and actually very fun. you can be sitting up one minute and, within 20 seconds and a few flips of the chair (all while sitting in it of course), bam! you've got a bed.
oh yeah - i am DONE with school. sure, i've got one more paper due on may 7th, but it will be easy and, yesterday we presented our huge-ass final projects and i am just done. for real done. i've got two classes left and one of them is a "party" - that's literally what it says on the syllabus. i wish THIS is what i was writing about instead of all the stuff with my dad. but, it's okay. i am so calm about everything now and i am just happy my dad is not in pain. i love him and will miss him so much.

before - after

about me - read my profile! read other Diar
yLand diaries! recommend my diary to a friend! Get
 your own fun + free diary at DiaryLand.com!