what the fuckity fuck?!?! seriously. eff.
2007-03-19 - 5:12 p.m.
my dad came home on friday. ho$pice is not yet involved. this is good. but, i know it will happen. he is adjusting well - along with my brother and mom. he is resting and getting care and nurses are coming in to take care of him and he is able to walk around and eat and just relax.
but, he's still got cancer. he will go in for his next bioth3rapy appointment next monday and i get to take him. that is what he got last week - bioth3rapy. it's new. it's supposed to be better than chemo. it's supposed to boost your immune system while it attacks just the cancer cells. it leaves all of your other cells alone and it makes your immune system strong. i have no idea how it works, but it's something we're trying.
i am happy that we don't have ho$pice involved and that my dad isn't in any pain.
when i go shopping now, i look for things like gatorad3 and nutritional drinks and jammie pants for my dad.
i'm thinking of making something good come of this. i've got a degree in english. i'd LOVE to be able to get a big ol' RV together and some of my nurse friends and just travel the city and the state and maybe the country, providing people with information about how to take care of themselves and where they can get preventative testing done and where they can go if they do have cancer and let them know about all of the resources out there.
instead, since i'm not financially stable at this point in my life, and i need to work and there is no way in hell i can just "take off" in an RV, trying to save the world, i might just start collecting things. in a book. and get it all organized. and use my last name in such a way that my dad and i have always joked about... instead of organizing, it will be Or*anizing. i will call my book, "Get Or*anized". and, it will have all sorts of ways to do self checks at home, and how to get screenings done at little or no cost. and when you should get screenings done. and then, later in the book, it will be all about where to go and what to do when you're in a situation like what my family is in. support groups. cancer societies. financial stuff. just a guide sort of for how to easily find stuff all across the country. for every state. websites. government office phone numbers and addresses. i'll create a guide to help people get assistance and support. and help. it will be on the shelves in the healthcare section of bookstores and libraries. i used to think that getting Or*anized meant just organizing all of your stuff. that's how me and my dad decipher it. i had no idea it could turn into this. can you imagine? in like five years, people will get diagnosed and, one of the first things the doctors and nurses will say to them is, "buy this book". heck - maybe i can get a grant for it - no one will have to buy it. it will just be available to anyone who is diagnosed with cancer. just a resource guide of how to deal. with everything. answers about treatment and what will happen and how to get car titles transferred over and how to consolidate retirement savings and what to do with your money and how to plan your funeral and how to know that things will be taken care of after you leave. how to easily leave the world with nothing left undone. that way, more people will have time to do other fun things before they leave. they'll spend less time looking for answers and more time with their families. instead of being on the phone all the time and dealing with red tape and signatures, they can just chill. maybe eventually i'll start a little business. i can do it all for people. help them. i can become a notary and i can learn more about financial stuff and then, it will make it easier on them.
just an idea.... who knows what will happen.
um - also, just to smack us in the face even more, my uncle (who is married to my mom's sister and who actually went to high school with my dad) had something removed from his face last week. turns out, it's a stage four ulcerated melanoma. we haven't talked about it with my aunt and uncle yet, but i've done some internet research. what the fuck? there is no cure. five year survival rate is less than 10%. what the fuck?
are we all gonna just die from cancer?
