crappiest week ever, but i am okay. and still sober...
2007-02-18 - 12:21 p.m.
Wow. What a week. About five hours after i found out my dad had colon cancer, tree limbs started falling around our house because of the weight of the ice. it sounded like gunfire. i stood on my back porch and listened. tree limbs fell every minute or so. here and there. then, they started falling around our house. a few in the backyard. a small one in the front. i was scared one was going to fall on our house. i was freaking out. i wanted to leave. i packed my things. got on the phone with my friend, ann. hoped she'd let me come to her house. she told me to stay home. somehow, i listened to her. had i not listened, i would've been sitting in my car in the driveway when a big (i'm sorry.. HUGE ASS) tree limb fell on my car while i was waiting for my car to warm up. i just thought the windshield was busted. oh yeah - before this, a huge ass limb fell on part of our house and was leaning against electric wires. somehow, we still had power. the next day, i went out to look at my car. windshield busted (huge branch went straight through the windshield). passenger side window completely busted out. tree in car. hood damaged. roof damaged. it took 2.5 days, but finally at 3:00 a.m. on friday, the electric company (remember THAT show??!) came out and removed the wires from on top of my car and restored our neighbor's power and got our power lines out of the way of the huge ass tree limb that was STILL leaning against the main electrical wires. then, they came back at 5 a.m. and removed the huge ass tree by chopping it in half and letting it fall in our front yard. so, i got a tow truck out here to take my car to the shop. we got friends out here with a chainsaw to get the tree limb out of our driveway so, my roommate could finally get her car out. i am now borrowing a friend's car and all is better. was also offline until now. without cable or internet. no link to the outside world. it's been a rough week. i am not eating so well anymore. yesterday, i had a salad and some cashews and pizza. today, i woke up and i was starving. had eggs and bacon. it made my tummy mad and it just all came out of me.
i am just thankful i wasn't in my car when the tree limb fell on it. i am thankful i have a friend who can loan me a car and i don't have to deal with a rental. i am thankful (somewhat) to have had this diversion for the past few days so, i'm not so worried about my dad and how i keep thinking that he's not the one who's supposed to go first. if my mom goes first, he will be fine. if he goes first, my mom will not be fine. fuck. we meet with the surgeon on tuesday. my professors are being great. they don't care that i'm missing class that day. they tell me things like, "take care of you and let us know if you need anything. don't worry about classes or clinical. it can be worked out later."
i am exhausted.
