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drizzly pumpkin pies

2006-10-11 - 9:53 p.m.

Ah... so, the running thing. Not doing so well. I was in a funk for a few weeks and spent most of it in bed. Yeehaw for beds though! Because without them, sometimes, I think i'd just kill myself. And, I LOOOOVE my bed. It's nestled in between two walls, in a kinda dormer-windowish area of my room. But, the window is like half a window. And, all I have to do it tilt my head back and I can see the sky. It's a little cozy place and I don't have to worry about falling out of bed. And, I don't have to worry about facing my back to the room for fear that someone will walk in and stab me in my sleep (yes, I think of this and, as a result, sleep with my back towards whatever wall is there). And, the neatest thing about my cozy little bed is that I hardly make it anymore. I mean, like really make it. Oh sure, I throw the comforter up and over the sheets, but that's about it. That way, when I get back in the next night, my pillows are scattered about in just the right spots and I can easily fall into sleep.
So, enough about the damn bed. So, I'm not running. But, I want to try. I've got two of my marathon pics hanging up in my room. It will help if I quit smoking. Yes, a terrible habit I stumbled upon in the last months of my drinking. So, I guess I've been smoking for about six months now. It grosses me out. But, I'm addicted. I have the little nicotine gum too, but it's much more fun to feel myself inhale all of those chemicals into my lungs and get my little high that way. Besides, the nicorette gum makes me burp. But, my goal is to stop. It would be best if I did so before next month. In the middle of November, I'm travelling down south (okay, just to Louisville, KY) with some school friends for a neato conference about being a missionary. They don't know I smoke. I will be with them for two full days. I will go nuts without a cigarette for two full days. Unless I start tapering down now. Besides, that shit is expensive. And, it kills you.
Still doing well with school. Most of the stuff is done for the semester, except for our schload of end-of-semester projects. Even those are somewhat nearing completion and even a few have imaginary due dates with classmates so that we have them done before the final week and are not cramming. And then, you know what? I'll have one semester left. ONE. Until I am a nurse.
I was thinking about this the other night. I will finally BE something. I was never a writer, despite my undergrad degree. I mean, I sorta was in news, but that didn't really count. And then, at the next place I worked, well, I wasn't anything but a peon struggling for her paycheck every two weeks. And then, i was a little medical assistant, but I wasn't REALLY one. I mean, I wasn't certified or anything. But now, I'll be a nurse. Can you imagine?!?! ME. A nurse. wow.
It's finally fall here. It's beautiful. The leaves are changing and falling, but there are still plenty on the trees. The air is crisp and it's nice. I need to get a pumpkin. I want to dress up this year. For years, I've dreamed of creating a Grimace costume. You know.. Grimace from McDs. I think he is so cute and you don't have to be hot or sexy or thin to be him. You just put on your purple blob of an outfit and go. I think my friend's mom can make him for me. So, this weekend I am going to look at how much fabric would cost. And big googly eyes. Or paint to make my own eyes. And purple shoes.
I might even go to school as him one day. And just sit there and not say a word and act like it's the most normal thing in the world.
I love autumn.

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