Where is a hug when I fucking need one????
2005-02-23 - 10:48 p.m.
Oh God, I've got lots of decisions to make. I just need a break from life. I need to take some time off and there's no time. I need to step away and get my head together because my head is not good nowadays. I'm irritated with everything and everyone, including myself. I've got a low grade in my micro course. I may not even pull the C I need in order for it to count for my nursing program. Therefore, I might drop the class. That's right, I might quit. What the hell?!?! I just need a clear head. However, if I can make it through the next three weeks and do okay, I'll be done with it and I won't have to retake the course next year. I'll just have pharm to take next year. Which I could handle - one class. But, I don't know if can handle the next three weeks. 'Cause I've gotta get my shit together with anatomy as well... not doing so great in there either. I'm way down and I can't get myself up. I'm sick to boot - have been for 1.5 weeks now. Now, all I do is cough nonstop and go through phases where I feel achy again. Nice. And, can I get an appointment with my doctor? No. Because I work and or go to school from 7 a.m. until 9 p.m. Monday through Thursday. Fridays are out 'cause I work from 9:30 until 6 and heaven forbid if the doctor has an 8 a.m. appointment. Screw weekends. They're not open. So, I'm in need of antibiotics, but can't get any.
And, the anxiety. Oh, the anxiety... it's so there. It creeps up ever so slickly. Amazing how it's just all of a sudden THERE. I don't know if I can go to class tomorrow. I really don't. I'd love to not go to work, but I can't. I just have to get through two days of work. And decide if I should drop this class. If I do drop it, I can begin working on stuff for my anatomy exam next Thursday. If not, I'll have to go to the lab all weekend to work on my unknown and prepare for our lab exam on Monday. What to do, what to do? I"m so exhausted.
