Love
2004-02-05 - 11:12 p.m.
So, remember how last week I thought I might want to be a chemist? I still like it, but I know I should do this nursing thing. We pretended to transport patients last night in my EMT class and I loved it. And they weren't even real patients. Is it weird for me to wear my scrubs, my stethoscope and to intently watch ER just so I can learn new words and figure out what they're doing? When the bullet went into that dude's femoral artery, traveled through his vena cavae and into his right ventricle tonight, I knew what they were talking about. And how it happened.
I just lost my train of thought b/c Booie is so affected right now about me not staying out in the living room to chat with Booie. What the eff? Can I have a life of my own, please? And can I please not get yelled at for cleaning up/doing the dishes? What the eff?
I am getting properly drunk so that I can sleep. Tomorrow is a 9-6 day so I can at least sleep in and I don't have class after... but, I know I won't be able to sleep. Last night, I was so effing exhausted that I went to bed at 10. I tossed and turned until 11:30. I have a doctor's appointment on Tuesday to get my tetanus shot and to talk about all of my anxiety stuff. I just really don't want to fail at this school thing. It's obvious I did it wrong the first time around since, even though I have a degree it doesn't matter... so, I want it to be good this time. No Bs. It's just stressing me out. I have to be perfect in this or I will fail in life. I swear I will.
I still love chemistry, but I love EMT more. I love them both so much sometimes, they react like dipoles and cancel each other out.
