Eff, I'm stressed. Don't read. Not worth your time...
2004-01-29 - 11:53 p.m.
Oh my god. My normal fifteen minute commute to school tonight took about 27 minutes. My normal 10 minute commute home took FIFTY minutes due to the snow. What the eff? I am so exhausted from driving.
I am stressed. In addition to doing all of this school stuff this spring, I've got a cousin getting married in April and a high school friend getting married in May. With those marriages come bridal showers. The one for the cousin is on March 7th. I just found out tonight. I already requested THREE days off that week due to exams and my birthday. Now, I've gotta switch it all around, work some six hours days here and there so I can go to this shower. I am not mad about it, just frustrated. Why do fun things have to be such a hinderance sometimes. I just told my high school friend I could not go to her shower in April. I feel shitty, but I cannot continue requesting weekends off simply b/c I don't have the time, cannot continue screwing up my schedule and I really need to have weekedays off to successfully make it through school. I'm still going to her wedding although now I need a date b/c I was going to take my mom and I really thought she would go, but now she's not. Eff. And every night, i come home and do the dishes and sometimes, I just want to cry and scream about it and i told Booie I was going to go nuts if I didn't get help with the dishes. I did that sometime last week. The next day, Booie did one dish and the following day, Booie did like seven dishes. Booie also took out the trash. I did the dishes three times today and the trash if overflowing. Booie is not good with committment. Eff, I don't think I spelled that right. Next quarter, I am hoping to not take biology b/c this chem/EMT thing is cracking me up. So, I was hoping to take EMT and psychology and just be in class three days a week instead of four. They don't offer the psych class when I need it. So then, I thought I would just take the EMT class, but I have to have six hours or I'll lose my aid, which WOULD be fine, but I need my aid for summer school. I could afford three hours of EMT, but where would my summer school money come from? So, I cannot be a slacker and just complete my EMT course with a badda bing. So, I'm trying to find a course. There is a course on the main campus that I could take on Tuesday and Thursday afternoons which means I would have to work from like 5 a.m. to 2 p.m. and then, go to class, but the class is on the psychological effects of drugs on the brain. Like exactly what prescribed and recreational drugs do to your brain and thinking. Which would be good. Or... I just thought about playing it TOTALLY safe and taking American Lit III or something like that. American writers 1930 to the present. How fun. And simple. I mean, I've probably got all of the papers already written and all of the books on my shelf. Easy A. But, I don't really want/need to waste the money on a class like "that" when I could just give up my entire life and take the biology class on Monday, Wednesday and Friday at 9 a.m. I mean, that way, I could work every day except Mondays and Wednesdays and, on those days, get up at 7 to make it to school on time b/c there is always a fucking traffic jam and then, go back to school during the afternoon traffic jam and then, on Fridays, deal with the traffic jam and THEN go to work from like 10:30 to 7:30. WHAT THE HELL??!?! That is what i really should do to get ahead and make sure I'm on top of things, but holy shit. I am going nuts this quarter. I CANNOT do that without going insane. So, I'll just sit and pray for them to have a nice Tuesday/Thursday night biology class and then, i can be in class four nights a week, but at least I know I can do it without cracking up. At least I think I am not cracking up right now. Oh - I am just so stressed. I have two exams next week plus like 8 packets of EMT homework. Oh god. Why doesn't my English degree work in the real world? I am so starting to doubt all of this... is it even going to be worth it? All of this stress? I am drinking coke left and right now. I NEVER drink Coke. I already feel like I need another vacation from work and i just got back from one. What I need is like 10 grand so I can just live and breathe for a minute without worrying about bills and such and just get on with this school thing and so I can see how much fun it really is/should be.
I knew this would happen.
